Saturday, 17 January 2015

letter to my mummy if sshe was still alive..

dear mom,
It has been very long days without sending mail or letter to you.anyway,mummy hope everything is going well with you,I have loads to share with you.Regarding self,m doing good but missing you desperately.
Days and weeks passed by and even years passed on,I couldn’t stop sending my letters and emails to you.Hope those alphabets are visible to your eyes still.
Mom, the main reason behind for sending such letter to you,i got something to share you.before sharing I am gonna make a small request to you.would you please keep away all those stuffs in village and come here to stay here in the small heart of Thimphu.seeing every mothers of your age circummulating the memorial Chorten,I remembered and missed you desperately.i feel little pain in me whenever the thoughts of you leading single life in village.
Mom.please come here and lets live here peacefully and happily with only two of us.i am really in need of your warm kiss and hug,your happy words and yeah even your scolding…...
Last week,to my noticed,there was a very old mother who was made to look after her daughter’s baby,still then she didn’t kept accumulating merits.carrying her daughter’s baby at her back she came to circummulate the memorial Chorten,anyway,its one of her happy story..but I was really hurt having to listened her agony story.what overwhelmed me was that such people exist in this world,to my surprise,I couldn’t listen half of her story..
Mom, you know ,her story is really harsh I felt to myself.i couldnot bear the way her own blood related daughter could do so mean to her.if I describe about the old mother,she is very tall and thin as if she hasn’t taken meals for a month.they haven’t provide her proper clothing instead made her to work like a servant/babysitter.
You know,the mother was crying profoundly while narrating her story to me.furthermore,she shared me,when her children were young,she woke up early in the morning,she worked very hard  to the hell,working under suns and rains,raising animal,selling alcohol,without having rest for single minute inorder to brought up her children and  to make their living. Now what she deserved was their harsh words and to look after their baby without single penny.moreover,if they are to seek for baby sitter ,they have to pay for the max NU.4500/- ,in times she shared me,she was looking after their baby without any pay but they aren’t taking into the end of her conversation,she shared me with her sad voice that she was treated with harshness and like a begger.
Mom,you know,I had thrown her my theory,i stold her that one of the most happiest person is the one who under goes adversity,the adversity creates men,and prosperity creates monster,don be sad ama,life ain’t bed of roses,its like a mountain,it goes up and down.instead do your prayers well and be positive fine day your positiveness would be rewarded.In silence, her eyes wrapping with tears ,nodded her head,’ya ya bumo’.with this,we departed with the small amount I gave her…
Anyway,mom,its really sad story one has to undergo, but I would assure I would let you chant in a peaceful manner…
So,my dear mummy,come here,na mo(ok).i would love to stay together and eat together sharing sweet and sour stories of us.keep away the stuffs in village itself,don’t you miss me?don’t feel lonely there,having to eat alone,sleep alone and work alone…mom.its high time to rest,its not gona help you at the end..

your loving daughter

I was trapped in my illusion world…….

Sun rays peeped through the windows ,it had cleared all the darkness and made heavenly place..and I was still lying on the bed..
It was 8.30am………………in the morning.Oh my God,I was getting late to my work,said to myself.
’i have to get to my work within twenty minutes and my boss would scold me to the hell if I don’t’,I thought,digging matter out of my eye, I was still tired but scared to sleep more cux I was getting late to my work place.besides,there was serious risk of losing my job.
By the way,I am sonam or monam.
there was noises in the living room as if like it was in fish market,some relatives amd my cousine were in town to attend the a family wedding which was celebrated in grant of cousins was getting married to my neighbor. Whatsoever I had to work to feed my hulk stomach, so I could not attend the doesn’t matter, all marriages are the same. More or less.
I reached the bathroom still was already occupied.the bathroom door was open.i found five of my aunties scrambling to reached the few inches of the wash_basin of my aunts,was cursing her daughter for leaving back the make-up set back at home.another aunt had lost small diamond from her gold earring.
‘it is a pure gold’, where is it?’ she scream into my face as if I have taken it.
‘has the maid stolen it?’as if maid had nothing to better do than steal one tiny diamond.wouldn’t she steal the whole set ?i thought.
‘AUNTIE,may I use the bathroom for five minutes,i need to get ready for my work place’,I said.
‘Kuzu zangpo sonam’,wo wa mo om?(woke up finally?)one of my  father’s sister said,’OFFICE?’aren’t you coming for jatso’s wedding?’
‘NO,I have to work.can I use the bathroom…..’
;Have a glance,how tall sonam has become in the absence of her mother,her mother would have been proud for her if her mother was still here on this earth’,one of my maternal aunt said,’we need to find a boy for her soon’….
Everyone burst into giggles.any way ,it was the greatest joke for the day for them.
‘Can I please………’ I said.
‘Sonam ,leave those ladies alone ‘,one of my older sister interrupted.
But I have to get ready for my workplace by any means.....i have got no leave,I already used the leave last time while going for pilgrimage with my dad.
‘you work in greener way’,right??my cousine said.
‘your work is just to collect the wastes,why do you need to dress up?’who is going to see you?’
I didn’t answer yet but I thought to myself that,the only job where we start at the top,is digging out a hole.
‘Use the kitchen sink’,one of my aunt said.
I gave them all dirty body noticed.i reached the kitchen.the floor was so cold .i felt as if I was steeped into the icy water.there aint any hot water in the kitchen,I felt as if my face was turning into ice as I washed my face ..
Winter in Thimphu is really cold.
Finally I was ready to my office,I stepped out of the door ,I realized I had forgotten to take my ID.i went back to room and couldnot find it.i tried to find  my dad instead,i screamed to my dad who was sitting peacefully in the rest room.
‘dad,by any chance have you seen my ID?’everyone ignored me.
‘Damn it, am getting late’,I said to myself.
‘oh its there under the pillow’,drag it and strung around my neck.
‘jang dey wa na’(I waved a goodbye to everyone), but no one acknowledged wasn’t surprising either.cux I was considered as black sheep of my family.
I was late to my work place by fifteen minutes.
’Having to work in a private sector,its really difficult come before time’,I thought.

Day went on with nothing went smoothly. All I can do was to blame myself for waking up late.

On the otherside of the coin,I was enjoying swimming and splashing my hand pointlessly in the giant river.I was alone in the river.salt water filled my mouth and nostrils as I heard loud beeps at a distance.

OH MY GOD,the beep at the distance was my cellphone alarm which rang  hard in my left ear and I woke up to its “WAVING FLAG” ring tone.i squinted through a half-shut eye and lifted the cell phone.
It was ‘5.30 am’,oh my god,I said and jumped out from my bed hastily.i would have loved to analyse my dream and its significance in my insignificant life but its useless..its an illusion I was hanging out and enjoying the scene of it……

life story

Pins and needles ran up the back of her neck and a lump in her throat threatenned to chokle her.panic and fear took over.from the usual time...